Forgiven
by Liari
Summary: Couldn’t save you from the startlove you so it hurts my soul.Can you forgive me for trying again? Your silence makes me hold my breath Time has passed you by. The fourth in the song fic series. What happens when you ask forgiveness of the one you love?


_A/N-Okay, so this one is a leeeeetle bit longer than the others. Guess that shows who I write most. This is the last in the series, and brings the cycle to a close. The order does really make sense, I swear! At least, in my head it does. Please read and review. Song is Within Temptation's "Forgiven." _

_Also, I still don't own anything. _

She stood at the edge of the cliff and looked out over the ocean below. The wind sang around her, played with the soft indigo of her hair and made it ripple like water. Arms wrapped around herself, she waited. She knew he'd come; after all, isn't that why she'd helped Setsuna and Usagi when they'd come to her? They'd needed her intelligence to complete the project, to bring back Mamoru's guardians. Kunzite and Nephrite were already back with Mina and Mako, and Rei'd felt Jadeite's return a week ago. Then, this morning, she herself had felt the arrival of the presence she'd always sought, even before she'd remembered.

_**Couldn't save you from the start  
Love you so it hurts my soul  
Can you forgive me for trying again  
Your silence makes me hold my breath  
Time has passed you by**_

His absence had throbbed through her for so long that when it stopped it was like a whole new kind of pain. Doubt, regret, sorrow, anguish, guilt, all swirled in her mind, threatened to overwhelm her with the past. In an instant all of it was gone as she felt him behind her, the silent presence at her back sweeping thought away for a mere moment, an eternity. Reality did, however, seep back into her, so she turned slowly to look at him.

Her lungs froze, the ache of her soul intensifying as she drank in the sight of him. Untouched by time, he was her dream given form. Every detail of his form was etched into her mind, perfectly matched in the image before her. Strawberry blond curls, slim, capable hands, the slender body that hid so much strength, and his eyes, green eyes, emerald eyes, eyes that she'd fallen into so long ago, eyes that still held her captive.

"Zoisite…" The whisper left her lips, barely a breath of sound. She gasped quietly and doubled over as her guilt twisted a knife into her gut. He was there immediately, one hand hovering over her back, almost touching her. She straightened, and he backed away, but not by much. Inches away, they were still worlds apart as they gazed at each other. She remembered another time when he'd looked at her with those stormy eyes, and the memory washed over her.

_**Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world  
Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own  
Here I am left in silence  
**_

"_She isn't what you think she is, you know," she says calmly as she flips a page. They're reading together in the library, precious time stolen from the duties and responsibilities of guardianship they both hold._

_He looks down at her. "What?"_

"_Beryl," she states. "She's not the answer you're looking for." She glances up from her book, inclining her head back to look at him as he supports her, her back to his chest. "She just wants what she can't have, doesn't want anyone else to have it if she can't."_

_He scowls at her. "You don't know what you're talking about. Beryl just wants to be sure that Earth is safe, just as we do."_

_She cranes her neck around, incredulous. "Do you really believe that? Zoi, she claims that we're evil here, that the Moon Kingdom will take over Earth, when that's what she wants, not us! We have no interest in Earth like that!"_

_His scowl grows deeper, and he stands abruptly, leaving her unbalanced. "No! You all just think that Earth is a backwater, a barbarian planet that isn't even worth notice!"_

_Shocked, she shakes her head. "No, no, Zoi, that's not what I meant at all…"_

"_If I may take my leave, __**princess**__," he hisses at her, striding away before she can say anything else, the door closing behind him with a definitive click._

_She sits there in silence, heart lodged in her throat as she stares at the closed door and wonders how that had gone so wrong._

He hadn't spoken to her for several days after that, and even when he had started talking to her again it hadn't been the same. He'd been closed off, distant, and she blamed herself for approaching it too strongly, for not making her point in a way that he would understand. In the end, she'd wondered if she'd tried harder, if she'd done it differently, would it have saved him? Would it have made him see the mistake they were making?

She looked up at the man in front of her again, her eyes reflecting more pain than any soul should hold. As he gazed back at her without saying a word a lone bird called mournfully to the sky, seemingly echoing the crying of her heart. He reached out to her then, a hesitant feather touch across her cheek with his curled fingers.

_**You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven  
**_

Blue eyes closed, two tears escaping to sparkle on her cheeks like drops of crystal. She raised her hand, covered his with her own, pressed her cheek into his touch. "Zoisite, I…"

"Shh," he crooned, his thumb stilling her lips. His eyes devoured her, made her feel like a quivering mouse in the shadow of a stooping hawk. "Ami…" He breathed her name like a benediction. "So long in darkness… I was lost, utterly lost, holding onto the shreds of my memory, even as much as it hurt. Through everything I held onto the scraps of my past, fleeting glimpses of things other than endless darkness, empty void. It would've been so easy to let go, give in, but I kept hoping. Because even though I remembered pain, and treachery, and death," He closed his eyes briefly and shuddered, then opened them again, despair writ harsh on his face before his expression softened. "Even though I remembered all those things, there was one more thing, one that made all the rest meaningless." He stared directly into her eyes, the penetrating gaze slicing through to the very heart of her. "I remembered you." He caressed her cheek again, turned his hand to entwine his fingers with her. "I was wrong, Ami. You were right. I was looking for answers in the wrong place."

_**I watched the clouds drifting away  
Still the sun can't warm my face  
I know it was destined to go wrong  
You were looking for the great escape  
To chase your demons away  
**_

_She stands before the gates with the other Inners, waiting for what she knows will happen. Beryl's army is moving towards them, but out in front there are four figures that stand out, capes snapping in the wind. Ami hears the girls beside her draw breath in shock and disbelief, but she is not surprised. Beryl worked her poison well._

_As the four men stride forward she has eyes only for the one to the far right, his strawberry blond curls sweeping back over his iron-grey cape. As he gets closer she sees his eyes, and knows he is truly gone. Ice-cold chips of frozen emerald stare back at her with cruel mockery of the gaze she loves, and she resigns herself. In the minute before he reaches her she turns her face to the sky, eyes seeking the dancing clouds. The sun shines down brightly, and she thinks strangely that it seems unbefitting for it to be such a beautiful day. Even so, she can feel none of its warmth. _

_A Shitennou stands before each of the Senshi now, swords drawn. In an instant they're fighting, but Ami feels detached from the entire scene, and merely watches the one in front of her as if they inhabit their own world. Perhaps they do. He moves closer to her slowly, as if he approaches her for a dance. It feels as if time stands still, the others around her fading away, the sound of their fighting growing fainter and fainter. In the moment he reaches her and slips his blade between her ribs she lifts her hand to his cheek, the gesture full of love and sorrow._

"_I failed you," she whispered, the taste of blood strong in her mouth, staining the corners of her lips with a lurid color she would never wear willingly. "I failed you, my love, and I'm sorry." For a moment she thinks she sees the man she loves, but then he's gone, and the stranger standing before her smiles a cruel smile, so like her beloved's. She flings a last hope of redemption to the heavens and draws her power into her fingertips, blasts it into him. His mouth opens in a silent scream as the ice bursts from her hand, the icicle blade severing his artery cleanly as she sweeps it downwards, his blood freezing instantly into beads of black ruby, the ice invading his veins. _

_They collapse together, crumpling. Ami lands on her back, head lolling to the side so that she can see him. He looks back at her, his eyes now the only part of him not full of ice. In them she sees regret and a pain deeper than the heavens themselves. In them she once again loses herself, tears flowing freely. Her hand seeks his, finds it, curls around it. His fingers twist weakly with hers, and those beautiful eyes darken and fade, turn empty. He's gone._

_She turns her face to the sky again, stares up into the heavens, and wonders if she'll ever be warm again before the darkness finally envelopes her gently in silence._

_**I've been so lost since you've gone  
Why not me before you?  
Why did fate deceive me?  
Everything turned out so wrong  
Why did you leave me in silence?**_

She looked at him uncertainly and gave him a soft, barely there smile. "I didn't want you to be wrong," she told him softly, "or for myself to be right. It doesn't matter now anyway." More tears shimmered in her eyes. Her voice dropped to a whisper as she confessed, "When you were gone, I was as lost as you ever were. Even without the memory of you I knew. I knew something was missing. When my memories finally came back…all I could do was ask why. There were so many whys." She hesitated, but continued, "That's why I helped bring you back." She turned her eyes away. "That and...to ask your forgiveness. If I had tried harder…"

"Ami." Both of his hands cradled her face now, his right hand having won free of her fingers. She laid her own hands over his wrists and gazed at him, eyes drawn to his by the power of his voice. "There was nothing you could do. You did try. I didn't listen." His hands dropped to her shoulders and shook her gently, her arms falling to her sides. "You have nothing to be forgiven for. And if you did, it would be freely given." His arms slipped around her shoulders, pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his waist, buried her face in his shoulder. "I love you," he whispered. "You will always be forgiven anything you do. But can you forgive me?"

She breathed him in, soaked his essence into her soul. She turned her head to the side, felt the sun stroke her face with warmth and smiled. "I love you, Zoisite," she murmured back to him. "I am yours, as you are mine, and all that's done's forgiven."

_**All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven**_


End file.
